At the Crossroads of Christianity…

At the Crossroads of Christianity…

I stand.

Rain drops pooling all around me—
if I may be honest,
they are the tears ‘dropping’ from
eyes ‘opening’ and every
so often attempting to close
so as NOT to see!

Growing am I
in so much unknown.

I was brought up Christian…
Others spoke on my behalf—
Guides stated I’d be raised
in the faith.

I longed to attend church services when
I was young—
something about lighting a candle
and watching the flame
flicker throughout a silent
sanctuary stirred my being.

I did not need words…
I listened soaking in
Gospel messages.

My roots were small
but they took in EVERYTHING.

I believed most of what I heard…
anything I was not so clear
about I tucked ‘inside’
saving it like a rainy day…

AND

when rainy days came,
there really was no one
to hear my questions—

I mean HEAR them and
NOT simply say,  “This is how it is, or these are the
rules, or this is our FAITH!”

What in God’s name did
that mean?

So, I decided to ask God…
No—there was no burning
bush or ladder stretched
from above to below.
The world around me did not
flood over…

BUT, a dove seemed to nestle
itself on my shoulder
and I spoke as if it
understood.

I explained how much
I loved to delve into
‘The Book’—The Word…
Hebrew & New Testament Scriptures.

I read many grimacing messages,
poetry filled with passion and understanding
and then parables ignited in
love—love without anything
to be given in return.

This BOOK spoke to me…
and how it called me to
live my life as a Christian
seemed to be in opposition
with the rules laid out
in the FAITH I was asked to embrace.

Who said growing up was easy?
I began ‘listening’ to others—
they were expressing
thoughts I believed only I was thinking.

I launched myself out
from within…
While I did not HEAR God—
the Source within my conscience
began watering my roots which
I thought were withering.

A seed inside me died—
NOW broke open.

In countless Christian
circles, I could no longer
grasp ‘inequality’—
how could gender bar me
from walking intimately
with the One I love?

How could homosexuals be
banned from a covenant
of love because RULES
state that only a man & woman
are legitimate?

How can we spend
hours discussing Transgender bathrooms
instead of focusing on the individuals
who long to express their
TRUE SELVES?

I’m reading this Word
and SEEING what was
written long ago—
NOT so different today.

Political systems
on all sides—
few gain
and their
pockets are padded.
They’d build higher walls
to keep their possessions
to themselves.

Who is my neighbor?

Religious institutions
call upon the poor widow to tithe her 10%—
“You can write it off on your
taxes” (but what do they have
to write off?)
and religious institutions
file tax exemptions
live in cathedrals
behind stain glassed windows.
Who is fooling who?

Everyday I shudder before
turning on the T.V.—
more and more bloodshed
on the streets…

Black lives matter—let’s
not pretend we’ve reached
a place where ‘ALL’ are
seen as equal—

Except in that BOOK
where LOVE wins…
Love—no frightening
no more violence.

Death leads to NEW Life…

We’re all going to die.
How, I’ve no idea.

I write from a privileged
place—
My white skin once served
and protected (Yes, a Police Officer)
and I have countless
brothers & sisters
on the force
who each day
live in harm’s way
trying to uphold,
with the utmost respect
and integrity the lives of
innocent citizens—
black, yellow, red, white,
gay, straight, Buddhist, Muslim
Hindu, Christian, Atheist…
AND
in that system I
also ‘tasted’ the foul
aftermath of corruption.
I knew the victims behind
bars more innocent than
the ones who shackled
handcuffs on the
wrists of a perpetrator
who sought only bread
to feed their family.

So, I stand at a
Crossroads…

I’m NOT rejecting my
call to follow the
Christian path…

I’m just
learning, if I am able,
in conscience to WALK IT!

What it means
has nothing to do with
what I stand to gain—
Heaven’s doors have never
been closed—

They’ve only been closed
by ‘hollowed’ voices
taking from innocent souls.

When structures were established,
when rules were first laid down,
I don’t believe it was for power—
I trust it was so that we could
dwell together.

If only we could ALL
become like little children—

I believe that’s written in
the word, spoken (perhaps) by
a mere man who lived his
life in opposition
to the ‘systems’.

Little children
don’t SEE in color,
they do NOT judge if
two persons of the same sex
are holding hands.
They share their lunch
(even if no food is left for later—
and they even throw morsels
to the dogs, cats and birds at
their feet.)

So, where am I going
with this?

God knows…

I’m at a crossroads
and I’m SEEING
the many roads leading
to the ONE Way—

LOVE.

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Comments

At the Crossroads of Christianity… — 3 Comments

  1. Sandy,
    Beautiful. Touching. So happy our paths crossed on the Ireland trip. You have a joyful heart. I leave you with a comment from one of my professors of medicine. In response to a question of how to handle the pain and suffering of your patient, he replied, “remember, the disease is not yours, it is your patient’s.”

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