When I Despair…

When I Despair…
When I Despair…
I go out beneath
an infinite sea of blue sky
—and plunge in.

When I Despair…
my arms begin to stroke
the clouds, using them to
carry me on, and on, and on.

When I Despair…
I lie down in green meadows.
I become a ‘blade’ alongside many
—not a blade cutting
     but, one holding a drop
     on its head
—a balm for my parched
    dry lips.

When I Despair…
tears form
—white caps rush over my 
    salty cheeks.
Unstoppable, I can barely see
my breath.  I keep returning
to the surface
to take in another cup of air.

When I Despair…
I lay my head down
birds begin to sing
—their chorus, my lament.
Creatures bring gathered twigs,
pines, rocks to bury the One
whose hand I gently let-go.

Persons, near & far have reached
for me and continue to.

In my Despair…
I have never been alone.

Now, the shade
is pulling itself down.

I seek the comfort of despair
and the wisdom it imparts.

I choose to be alone
under a ceiling of stars—
my hands raised.
Despair has become a new friend…
JOY as a ‘planet’ shoots
across the sky.

Goodbye dad…
You’ll truly never be gone.
I’ll sing with you beneath 
the Moon.

You’re in Heaven~~~EVERYWHERE.
In Loving Memory of Joseph Mattucci
A Hero, A Good Man, my dad

December 24, 1931 – July 22, 2020


2 replies
  1. Ann Pawlik
    Ann Pawlik says:

    I don’t know how I missed this one, Sandy. As I was reading it, I was seeing it “happen” in my mind’s eye. It is a beautiful expression of your feelings, one that I can very much relate to,…wrap yourself up in memories, good memories,…let them “hug” you in their warmth.


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *